Should You Have Children Participate in Your Wedding Ceremony?

Connecticut Wedding Articles » Wedding Etiquette

Many brides and grooms wonder if they should have children participate in their wedding ceremony. There is no clear cut answer on this decision. Some weddings have been very charmed by the behavior of adorable little flower girls. Other weddings have been marked by the screams of unruly children who simply would not behave themselves – perhaps they found participating too stressful or they were too tired from engaging in this type of event. Every bride and groom needs to come to their own decision if children should participate in a wedding ceremony. But it is important to think about the factors involved with having children participate in your wedding ceremony.

It is a known fact: you can’t control children. Then again, you can’t control anyone. You can’t control your Uncle Frank or anyone else’s behavior. Some children may be completely overwhelmed by the sight of a large crowd of people. Other children may be tired out by long rehearsals, additional parties and other events included with the wedding. This is logical as many adults get these same reactions too – and if they could lie on the floor and scream they probably would too! But children are closer to their emotions and you get a more honest reaction with them. This can be funny and charming at times but you don’t want a child to steal the show away from the bride with some type of bad behavior.

Including children can be very important, especially if you have children. Many brides and grooms are getting married for a second time and they have children of their own. It is important to include these children in the wedding. To make them feel included in the ceremony is a way to help them understand that they are included in this marriage and the entire relationship. To not include them would make them feel isolated and cut off. But it is critical to include them in a way that makes them feel comfortable. If your child is not comfortable walking down the aisle with you as a family, don’t push the issue. Have the child meet you up front perhaps with another family member holding their hand for support. Some children will be pleased to do a special reading or perhaps light a candle. For other children this is too much attention on them. It is more important that your child feel comfortable at your wedding than that your child participate. Focus on what level of participation would make your child feel most comfortable. This in of itself will encourage good behavior.